Bunny, Hop On Over To My Shrine
by Kenneth Black
Summary: Rei and the Inner Senshi think Usagi is a bit distracted by food and Mamoru. She has a few tricks up her sleeve to prove them innocently wrong.


A/N: If it's SM, well, I just CAN'T seem to boot Michiru and Haruka out for a bit! ^^ (As for the techniques, well, *Naruto, Dragonball*

DISCLAIMER: Had fun writin' this, hope the creator, fabulous Naoko Takeuchi, can cure Usagi's li'l indigestion of carrots! ^^ (grin)

****Bunny, Hop On Over To My Shrine****

"Usa-ko!" "Mamo-chan!" "Sailor Moon!" "Tuxedo Mask!"

Four names, two apiece, none their given ones at birth. Rei Hino could only sigh and roll her eyes at the images she could see in the fire, all just-a burnin' with love- and a fair amount of lust, too.

The two were the Sailors' future King and Queen, yes, but... couldn't they skip the honey-honey for the, y'know, FUTURE?

Guess not, Rei thought as the two about recieved a killer stabbing from an idiot of a youma, being distracted and all by each other- presumably Usagi's short skirt flapping around in the wind and Mamoru's, well, just his PERSON.

SPEAKING of wind and distraction- Rei scouted the fire for- oh, yup, there they were.

Haruka Teno'h, great racer, greater Senshi of Wind, standing as Sailor Uranus and just flapping the wind a BIT more, much to Sailor Mercury, a.k.a. Michiru Kaioh, talented violinist, Haruka's innocence popper- yeah, Rei was getting ahead of herself, being a priestess and all /- yeah, much to Sailor Neptune's irritation.

"Venus Love Me CHAIIIIN!"

The Sailor V of everyone's idolment let loose a line blast of sparkling golden hearts, lethal to evil, and aided Sailor Moon in an easy death-blow.

All Sailors but the two Outer Senshi appeared by the King and Queen's side and powered down. Interestingly enough, Mamoru didn't even bat an eyelash at four naked girls around him, just smiled down at Usagi and whispered a soft, "I love you, Usa-ko."

When Rei checked to see if the Outer Senshi had any more eyerolls to add and weren't there, she grabbed the communicator off the floor and contacted the lot.

"Rei-chan, you weren't here."

Ami.

Though she knew her longest out of the group excluding Usagi, Ami wasn't comfortable enough without the appropriateness of formalities. The fire-wielder shot a hot grin at the smart one and provided an excuse. She'd fix that other problem later.

"I had a premonition."

Lie.

"Guys, c'mere to the shrine and we'll talk it over."

It wasn't exactly true, but Rei needed to get just one specific person over, and, well, she just HAAAAAAAAAAPPENED to choose a day where everyone would be busy. As expected,

"Can't." "Sorry." "Check on it later, Rei." "Me, uh-uh. You, Usa-ko?"

Hmph. The jerk.

Rei kept a straight face of calm.

"Um... Yeah!" Practically a squeal.

Rei knew everyone else had a good idea as to what she was gonna ask the Princess, so she phrased the invitation where she knew everyone except Mamoru would rush to what they had to do, cancel, and then race back to the meeting point.

"Okay, bunny, hop on over to the shrine and I'll meet you outside with some carrots!"

Rei got a laugh as Usagi made a face and slammed the device shut.

All the other Sailors gave her a knowing look and wink. Rei grinned back and whispered, "Wish me luck, guys."

"REI! I'm HEEEEEEEERE! Now gimme those cookies- I know you'd never gimme carrots!" Usagi stood at the steps to the fire-priestess' shrine, clad simply in her school's uniform.

A grinning woman stood in front of her, saying, "Usagi, pretend I'm a youma." At her Princess' blank look of whipped hunger, Rei snapped, punching the air in front of her.

Usagi instantly blocked with an open hand, then summersaulted as Rei gripped her wrist and flipped her over a robed shoulder.

Suddenly, "USAKO!"

All focus disappeared and was replaced by dreamy wonder and Rei had the time to sigh before she reached out a foot and tripped the in-air blonde, sending her tumbling into the nearby grass on her rump.

"OW, Rei, watdja do THAT for?" Rei fought hard not to laugh. Instead, she crouched by her friend and held out a strawberry ice cream drop in one hand, chocolate candy bar in the other.

"Usagi, you're a bit distracted, and- WAAAAUUGH!"

The pork-bunned rabbit was suddenly pouncing on her with a vengeance, her eyes all mushy and sparkling blue, and Rei only had time to roll away before hunger-driven Usagi flattened her.

"ICE CREAM!"

Wow.

Rei turned and threw the chocolate one way, the ice drop in another. Knowing Usagi would cry if either hit dirt, Rei glanced over to see what she'd do.

*POOF!*

Her jaw fell open.

Usagi slapped her palms together and did some crazy whacko stuff with her fingers, all the while jumping up and down.

And she split.

"*CHOMP!* Yuuuummy!"

Rei watched, open-mouthed, as two Usagi's walked up to her and grinned, licking their lips.

"I c'n control my hunger, Rei, don't worry about i-" "Hey, MAMORU, over here!" Just then, the Goddess Cooking Makoto appeared, waving an arm over her head.

*POP!* One of Usagi EXPLODED and Rei about screamed.

It was ODD.

The real Usagi bounded over to the Sailor of Lightning and beamed. "Hey, Mako-chan!" The woman grinned, then asked, "Hey, watcha been up to?" Rei watched the normal exchange and felt duped.

What just... HAPPENED?

She scribbled a quick illusion spell onto seal and threw it, where it pasted onto Usagi's back. Makoto gave it a quick *whap* to see what Rei had Usagi see.

"Whoa!"

Illusions of Mamoru appeared; in the tub, eating a watermelon, high-fiving some buddies, driving a car, jogging- all handsome.

Usagi gave a scream of delight and ran after about all one hundred of them. They just grinned warmly at her and faded away, reappearing a few yards from Usagi's current standing and out of reach, tempting and delicious as he was.

Makoto watched, amused, as Usagi bounded after, spell-cast. Suddenly, she stopped entirely and pressed two fingers to her forehead.

*ZOOM!*

Usagi disappeared.

Makoto gaped in astonishment as their Princess reappeared before all hundred or so Mamoru and gave him/them-all a big juicy kiss. Every one faded after that.

Rei and Makoto just couldn't stop staring. What... WAS that?

"Hey, guys! What about our PLA-" "Usagi's GOOD!"

As Ami and the Sailor or Love, Minako, appeared out of nowhere from the forest's trees, Makoto and Rei scrambled to slap a hand on their mouths, Rei's on Minako's, Makoto's on Ami's.

Smiling cheerily at their Princess, both beckon for Usagi to sit down. "Usagi.." Makoto starts, but Rei cuts her off, smiling gently.

"Usagi- I'm sorry I thought you were in danger when fighting youmas because the distraction of Mamoru and-"

"Rei, I'm FINE. Thank you, everyone, but I know I can handle myself in battle when I'm with Mamo-chan. He gives me courage- as do all you guys."

All the Inner Senshi stare with tears in their eyes as their Princess gives them the most wonderful speech and a humongous smile. Opened those arms wide and gathered them all in a group-squishing hug.

"I love you guys!" Squeal. Squish.

"A-Ah!" Ami, flustered against a suddenly-defensive yet laughing Makoto.

"Usagi, you're the greatest!" Minako let out a cheer.

"Oof!" Makoto, squirming.

"-fooooooooooooood!" Rei's sentence was finished in a wheezy whoosh as Usagi glomped on and squeezed. Instantly, everyone sweatdrops.

"FOOOOOOOOD? Where, food, where? Fooooood!" Their Princess lets loose of all of them and zooms around the shrine, looking every bit like the starving rabbit.

"Oi, oi, Usagi, here."

Rei sighed and threw out the rest of her stashed candy from her robes' hidden sleeve pockets in all different directions. After multiple pops, everyone stares as Usagi splits like clone-copies and all munch on various things.

Rei knew everyone was wondering why any youma hadn't baited their future queen with a bit of tasty food. Suddenly, everyone was laughing.

"-REI! YOU FED ME CARROTS!"

the end / **^^** \\

A/N: Good thing the youmas are dumb with what to bait, ne? Type me up a heart-felt note if you like, I'll be waiting!


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